Sunday, January 29, 2006

The War Between The Dates

Trying to match Stan in number of blogs, siren and phoenix have a new blog (Beauty and the Greased) where they invite a female blogger and a male blogger to debate a point of conflict between men and women. The most recent post involved whether a man should use a coupon to buy dinner on a blind date. I expressed the opinion in a comment that using a coupon at any time was not something a real man would do unless made to do so by his wife. Fuzz is still sending me threating telepathic messages for questioning his manliness!

While busy dodging fuzz's psychic grenades, I have been trying to remember the various reasons that I've heard for not having a second date. Here is a partial list:

-- "He had a 'Kerry' bumper sticker" -- contestant on Elimidate last week.

-- "She fell out of the car into a puddle of her own vomit" -- friend.

-- "He's cut/uncut" -- various -- I have never understood how this comes up (sorry) during a blind date.

-- "He has cannisters" -- friend -- She was referring to those containers that you put on the kitchen counter top that contain sugar, flour, etc. I have no idea why they would turn someone off.

-- "He brought flowers" -- co-worker -- apparently considered by some to be sexist.

-- "He wore Dockers" -- friend of friend -- Why? "Because it showed he didn't really care."

-- "She was not ready on time" -- friend -- Clearly a guy who will never have a second date.

-- "She spoke French to the waiter" -- relative -- I can kind of see his point, she was showing him up (even if unintentionally).

-- "She had curlers in her hair" -- friend -- she would look good for the second guy?????

-- "He had not been to graduate school" -- someone I had a date with, explaining her last previous date. Why? "Because people who have not been to graduate school do not read." I should have let it go but didn't. What about Harry Truman, I asked, he read a book a week. "He would be too liberal." I pointed out that he had dropped the atomic bomb on Japan and founded the CIA, not very liberal things. She had no reply since I was clearly confusing her with facts.

-- "He had no tattoos" -- overhead at grocery store checkout line yesterday (I am so out of touch with the twenty-something world).

-- "She kept calling me 'Dan'" -- friend named Don.


Ben Heller said...

Good post.

Whatever happened to the old chestnuts like

"he's not my type"
"he's not on my wavelength"
"he smells of Ground Beef"

People are just getting so picky these days.
I once got dumped by a blind date during the date -- it was a double date, while my buddy and I were discussing how we were going to dump them, the two young ladies dumped up (they vanished, puff!!)

Bruce said...

He didn't go to grad school??

And the cannisters thing is just too off the wall...
I taught at a school in West Texas that has a graduate program in Meat Science, I wonder if that would count??? :)

I think she equated having cannisters with being gay (latent homosexuality) -- her reasoning probably was cannisters means he cooks, if he cooks it means he's gay-- my guess is there will be many women looking for similar clues after Brokeback Mountain

:P fuzzbox said...

~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

yes master, I will obey

siren said...

"Beauty and the Greased" :)

My younger brother perfected the "drive-by" dating technique. He always arranged for his blind date to meet outside somewhere and he'd do the pre-date drive-by to see if he felt it was worth stopping for.
that's icy!

A guy at a party one time told me that he would be "unhappy all of his life because he was good looking so he would have to marry a good looking girl and good looking people are always so shallow" -- he used the "lunch date" to screen his dates

The Phoenix said...

I think people should have to go through some sort of "blind date academy" and get certified before setting up friends for blind dates. They can go horribly wrong, or be fantastic. Not much in between.

I have set up other people in the past, relying on my wonderful knowledge of personality types and psychology. Every single blind date I set up - the people were incredibly attracted to each other and super duper compatible.

Unfortunately, all three couples ending in a flurry of psycho love/hate relationships that ended in an explosion of hatred.
maybe you did that on purpose, subconsciously anticipating that disaster and permanent psychological injury would result

Big D said...

I was watching a show on MTV, I forget the name. But it was a dating show and this girl didn't want to go with the guy so in a crowded restraunt she peed on the floor. It was all over her pants and chair. One of the most disgusting things I've ever seen.

Big Pissy said...

I thought those were all really bizarre excuses until I read the one in Big D's comment!!!