Thursday, September 25, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Monday, September 15, 2008

That's right! It's a college degree in how to grow grass!

Do they show you pictures of grass and you have to guess what each kind each is?

You could get a degree in grass without ever having to go outside.

Previous experience counts towards your degree. Does that include mowing lawns when I was a kid?

Click the image for additional information.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

"What did they do to you?

Friday is Chemo Day. This is right after we got home. Rooty is not pleased that Ozzie is smelling his ear. You can kind of see where they shaved a spot of Rooty's right front leg for the chemo, so I have no idea why Ozzie is smelling Rooty's ear.

Yes, my driveway is cracked.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Jim & Rooty & Ozzie go to Office Depot

Actually the dogs stayed in the car. In hindsight, I should have taken them inside for protection.

I needed to send identical printed files to a company in Austin and to my sister in Kansas City.

I submitted the file to Office Depot by email and it was indeed ready when we arrived. Each copy was in its own neat little box.

Unfortunately, at the local Office Depot, the copy center, UPS drop-off, and checkout are all at the same register, manned by the same person.

The little boxes had to be put inside bigger boxes for shipment, so while the clerk did that, I filled out the shipping information.

The computer screen on the counter actually swivels around so you can fill in the UPS information yourself. That's right, Jim, the most dyslexic person on the planet (there are days I cannot read the big green sign over the freeways), had to type in the addresses.

Remember, there are two address and two packages.

I types in my sister's name and address first (along with my name and address). I asked "Should I click CONTINUE?" The guy said "Yes." I did, and the next screen asked for the package size, that kind of thing. So I turned the screen back around so he could see it.

He took one look at it -- and remember I only had two packages to send -- and said "You should only have to enter the shipping information once." And then he cleared what I had typed.

That meant that I had to enter both sets of names and addresses again. If you've kept count, you've realized that meant that I still had to enter all of the information a second time.

Meanwhile, the crowd waiting in line was getting unpleased. They have other registers, but did not open another until the crowd was getting restless.

For the company in Austin, I only had a PO Box. That is what I typed for ADDRESS. Turns out the package could not be sent to a PO Box. I did not know the address -- I knew it was on Austin's MoPac Expressway. So he swung the screen around again so I could access the Internet and find the street address. I did that, as the crowd began to talk of tar and feathers.

Then, turns out I needed the name of a person at the company in Austin. The screen did not say that. No matter. So, he swung the screen around again so I could pick a name at the company in Austin to type into the computer. I did that.

Then, I look inside one of the boxes. On every sheet, DELETE was printed in the top right corner. On every sheet! It was not on the original. As I was beginning to fear for my life, I decided to just ignore it -- there would have been physical violence if I had asked to have both copies reprinted.

So the guy puts the little boxes into their respective big boxes and then he has to weigh and measure each. Remember, they were identical! He made identical copies and placed them into idential boxes but he still had to weight and measure each seperately.

If I go missing, check the credit card receipts from Office Depot from yesterday afternoon. Find mine and then the logical suspects in my disappearance would be any of the people in line behind me.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

This is new, and annoying...

Drivers on a three or four-lane freeway who follow you, then pass you on the left, then cross in front of you and cross two or three lanes so they can exit!

Why don't they just switch to the lanes to their rights and exit?

Is it some terrible need to be seen?

Can we blame this on bad potty training? Do they expect an M&M?*

I blame MODOT, which I do for almost everything.

*Obscure reference meaningful only to viewers of Jon & Kate Plus 8.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

2 + 2 = 5

Am I the only one that did not know that 2+2=5 is a signal that a company uses contracts or agreements that have hidden clauses?