Sunday, August 31, 2008

This actually works!

Although the guy-thing of just rolling them up into a big ball is much. much quicker!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The single saddest TV channel of all time.

This is on the cable system at my mother's house.
The reflection on the clock face is on the clock face.
That's right, it's a non-stop video-feed of an analog clock with a bad reflection on it's face.
I told you it was the saddest TV channel of all time!

Cleanliness is next to stupid

AP August 17, 2008: Police in Wichita said it appears a man broke into a house Friday night to wash his clothes but fled in boxers, with his jeans still in the washer.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Fat Biker Chick [a rerun of a favorite post]

I have been know to go a little fast on the Interstates, but only because my speedometer is faulty. It used to say I was doing 90-something -- a clear malfunction -- and something that I promised the neighbors that I would stop doing. It now seldom gives me a misreading above 80, most of the time it hangs right at 80, maybe 85.

When I was on I-44 in Missouri on Sunday, heading back to Illinois, it mistakenly but consistently said 80. Then, Fat Biker Chick passed me as if I were standing still!

I'’m not being insensitive; FATCHIK was the personalized plate on her motorcycle. She was wearing a white halter-top, above which I could see the tattoos on her shoulders and back in the warm glow of the fading September evening sun.

When I got to the top of the hill west of Six Flags, she was already rounding the curve into Eureka. When I got to the railroad bridges at Eureka, she had cleared the Meramec east of Times Beach. When I got to the top of Powder-Dump Hill, she had disappeared from view across the asphalt horizon that weaves towards 141.

Is there anything sexier than a woman who really knows how to drive? I love you Fat Biker Chick! Take care of yourself.

[Originally posted September 14, 2005]

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Monday, August 18, 2008

Pretty much how my Monday has gone so far!

See other great signs HERE.
The side shows are to the right of the article.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Your basic 10,000 calories per day diet!

  • three fried egg sandwiches, with cheese; tomatoes, lettuce, fried onions, and mayonnaise;
  • three chocolate-chip pancakes;
  • five-egg omelette;
  • three sugar-coated slices of French toast;
  • bowl of grits;
  • two cups of coffee.

  • one pound of enriched pasta;
  • two large ham and cheese sandwiches with mayonnaise on white bread;
  • energy drinks.

  • one pound of pasta, with carbonara sauce;
  • large pizza;
  • energy drink.
Full story at

Friday, August 15, 2008

All the news that's fits into 1's and 0's

I still don't have TV at home, and I still don't miss it.

NBC has most of its shows on the Internet so I so can still watch Jay Leno's monologue, and 30 Rock.

Fox also has most of its shows online, but there are none that I really watch.

To keep up, I read the St. Louis Post-Dispatch website, and the New York Times site.

I also check Drudge, but mostly for the offbeat stories.

I was on the road this week so I did see most of the Olympics, in the evening, when I wasn't on the road.

I also watched some cable shows. When did CNN and CNN Headline News become exactly the same thing?

Why are there no music videos on MTV or VH1?

How many more wives can Larry King possibly have? The soon to be ex-Mrs. King is the 7th. He must have pre-nups printed in bulk, with a fill-in-the-blank space for Wife!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Rooty making himself comfy at grandma's house

He was sleeping but he woke up when I turned on the ceiling light. As I type this, he's back asleep, in a typical Rooty position.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

August 9th

Maybe a good day to stay in bed:

From Wikipedia:

1173 – The construction of a campanile, which would eventually become the Leaning Tower of Pisa (pictured), began.

1945 – World War II: USAAF bomber Bockscar dropped an atomic bomb named Fat Man, devastating Nagasaki, Japan

1969 – Followers of cult leader Charles Manson brutally murdered pregnant actress Sharon Tate and four others in her Benedict Canyon, Los Angeles home.

1974 – The Watergate scandal: Richard Nixon became the first (and to date only) President of the United States to resign from office.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

I cannot float

I sink like a brick.

That's not uncommon, especially among men. I have big bones in my legs and relatively little fat. I go down feet first, like the bow of the Titanic!

All my fat is in my head, it has it's own gravitational field.

I can swim, but I have to keep moving, like a shark.

I've known guys who could not swim under water because they were so buoyant, no matter how hard I tried to hold them under.

Monday, August 04, 2008

How hot is it?

From Carson, Letterman, and Leno:

How hot is it?

It's so hot today that Dick Cheney waterboarded himself.

It's so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

It was so hot in Palm Springs the Betty Ford Center said, "Screw it, open the bar. Drinks for everybody”

It was so hot out that North Korea test launched a long range Popsicle.

It was so hot today I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.

It was so hot today I saw an Amish guy buying an air conditioner.

Its so hot, the squirrels are handling their nuts with potholders

It's so hot that I have discovered that asphalt has a liquid state.

It's so hot water now comes out of both taps.

Monday already, no way!

This should kill some time, a list of addictions.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Here' something for regular visitors...

Rooty is getting his hair back!

His "wire hair" color coat comes in first, which means he'll look like an over-sized Jack Russell terrier for a while.

Then his soft undercoat will come in and he'll be all fluffy and look like Rooty again.

(That's his Teddy Dog on the floor, he was playing with it when I bribed him
with some food to look up . And, yes, my carpeting is exactly the same as in your local Cineplex.)

Me Tarzan. You Jane, it's Monday!

Guess how many actors have played Tarzan in films.

My guess was 2!

Here are some of them: LINK

Here is a list that answers the question: LINK

["Me Tarzan, you Jane" was never said in the movie, just as "play it again, Sam" was not in Casablanca.]