Friday, February 17, 2006

Dave wants to play too...

David has been banned by his parents from the Internet for one year for posting naked pictures of himself. He has cheated a little by leaving blog comments but they caught him!

So, got a question for Dave? Post it here and I will get his answer (and translate as necessary).

[The animated gif is composed from a photographic motion study by Eadweard Muybridge in the 1870's. Muybridge photographed the first successful serial images of fast motion.]


Ben Heller said...

Yeah I have,

Dave ? - What came first, the chicken or the egg ?
Ben -- he's still out for the evening -- I'll get an answer from him in the morning -- Jim

SAT 2:30AM St. Louis/SAT 8:30PM England
[Dave's answer. Let the record show that I typed it as he dictated. It's 3:34 AM.]

Dave: Chicken first before egg but it depends on what store you are in. At Wal*Mart you would pick up the chicken first and the eggs are back in the corner. The fewest you can buy is six. In a Schnucks store the meat department is in the side that you enter where the produce and deli are. The eggs are in the diary section in the part that looks more like a grocery store. In the local store where I live the eggs and dairy are in the first aisle; meat is along the back wall.

Ranea said...

Dave how do You do those amazing flips?
Ranea -- he's in the middle of his shower and pre-date grooming ritual, I'll ask him when he comes back downstairs -- Jim

Jim: Ranea wants to know how you do those amazing flips (like in the picture)?

Dave: Cushion cuddlers!

Note: This is good dave-speak, even for Dave. It's a little PG13-Rated so you have been warned.

He's taking a jibe at me -- because I keep the house a little on the cool side (both winter and summer) -- much colder than he is used to, although I always blame his being cold on his being blond. The cold also tends to discourage his walking around naked and frightening the squirrels.

You also need to know that he plays a lot of pool.

In pool, when any ball is touching another ball or touching one of the side cushions, those balls are described as "frozen." In dave-speak, those "frozen" pool balls became cushion cuddlers.

So why is Dave doing flips? Because mean Jim keeps the house so cold that his whatever have frozen, they is cuddling the cushion!

MH_Middlechild said...

My question for Dave...

How do date if you have your own language? Or do they have to understand "Dave speak" before you go out with them?
Hello MH_M:

Girls are not interested in what I have to say. I stopped wearing underwear on dates since so many pair went missing.

In what Jimmy calls Dave-Speak dates would be the "untidies" and girls are "straphangers" because many do not consider that as having sex. A straphanger is a person who has to stand during rush hour in a bus or rr car. Where was I tonight? An untidy. Who was I with? A straphanger.

I hope you get a chance to read this before Jimbo bulldozes it.

How about something about Jimmy? He was such a good shot his dad always made him shoot backup. He is partially deaf in his right ear from blasting so many skeet. He has not shot a gun since his dad died.

/s/ JD, the banished blogger
I don't like it but I'm going to leave it for now!!!!!!!

Dave gets "untidies" from tidy whities, so in dave-speak not wearing tidy whities (or other underwear) becomes being "untidy" -- I guess that a date is the only time he doesn't wear underwear so dates specifically become "untidies" -- he's gone to bed but I'll check with him later today (Sunday).

He is not being sexist with "straphangers" -- he does not mean it to be derogatory in any way, just the opposite. Having grown up in a very traditional environment, he is continually surprised about what his dates consider not to be sex.

straphangers is a common term in New York City to describe transit riders -- Dave picked it up from his cousin who works there.

MH_Middlechild said...

Geez, am I ever sorry I ask that question. LOL

As for what is consider sex or not sex, I've been confused on that issue ever since Lewinsky ordeal. My thoughts are, during the first few months of dating, don't do anything you could get fined for doing in public. (of course I've been married for 16 years so maybe I'm a bit old-fashion)

As for not wearing underwear on a date. I suppose that's fine as long as one doesn't wear white linen pants. Though it seems to me for a man if would chaff in all the wrong places.