Friday, April 07, 2006

Seek Knowledge

For the first time, this week the number of visitors reaching this site via an online search (usually Google) has exceeded the number coming purposefully and directly.

Some of the search results that lead surfers here are difficult to explain – I do not sell Orajel and I have no idea why Google sometimes thinks that I do!

The most hits come from searches for The Gavitizer, a trampoline-like device for the pulvically lazy. Sorry, I have no videos or pictures of actual people using The Gavitizer, and If I did I won’t admit to it anyway. Remember, “Love means never having to use a mechanical device.”

Changing dramatically from day to day, but generally third are admirers searching for pictures of actor and licensed driver Steve Coombs (who plays Dorian Gray in a play in LA). In a digital age, if you appear naked on a public stage, there are bound to be lots of naked pictures of you online – but there ain’t none here. [And, you’re right, I would be the guy who would slip a couple Viagra into his pre-show cocktail just to liven up the performance, so to speak. And this has nothing to do with anything, except that I read it yesterday. The person on the movie set who keeps the male porn star ready between takes is called the fluffer. Perhaps there’s someone comparable in a cold theater?]

The only other search that has increased significantly is to my rants about speedos and why they are essentially a public menace. Many of the searches go directly to one of the photos that some of you might recall – it was censored on the blog with a link to an uncensored version. It is the uncensored version that is attracting the most hits (big surprise). This might all be due to a similar photo that is circulating on the web that has clearly been enhanced using PhotoShop.

"I can see clearly now, my pants are gone!" (April 9, 2006)
To Be or Not To Be, with marinara sauce (April 9, 2006)
The Roar of the Greasepaint, The Smell of the Exhaust (April 13, 2006)


:P fuzzbox said...

Search engines are strange things. Sorry for using foul language in your comment section but I recently was informed of a quirk in Yahoo. To see what I am talking about go to Yahoo's homepage type in "No Talent Assclown" and click search. It pops up an apt site.
there is a whole list of search terms that produce unexpected results, the art of causing them to do that is called something that I cannot remember -- it will all come back to me after lunch and I will post the info

Amy in SC said...

Hee hee hee, orajel, trampolines, and college aged kids in videos. This definitely makes you sound like an interesting man.

Oh, and speedos?!? From a girl that lives at a beach frequented by European tourists, let me tell you.... Ewwwww!
I know mostly Swedes -- they stay mostly naked -- even at the beach :)

Meagan said...

"...of actor and licensed driver Steve Coombs..." HAHAHAHA I still find that so funny that you found it funny :-)

love meagan

p.s. :p fuzzbox: I did the search... is the joke the first result? Indeed apt, as you say!
I know a guy with a graduate degree in engineering who has Notary Public on his resume