The Dave Shopping Network

David, second cousin once removed, called. He wants me to go with him to buy the engagement ring for his fiancee. This was part of the conversation:

Jim: Wouldn't ||||||||||||| want to go with you, and pick out her own ring?

Dave: She wants to be surprised. [I would have thought that his not having the ring when he proposed would have been surprise enough.]

Jim: What kind of ring are we looking for? [I meant antique, platinum or gold, mass-produced or one-of-a-king.]

Dave: Something portable.
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And so, we enter the land of dave-speak: What is a portable engagement ring?

Is sometimes easiest to start with the negative -- "What would a nonportable engagement ring be like?" The answer would be big, really big! So, in dave-speak, a "portable ring" is one that is not big. So, we are going looking for a smallish, unobtrusive, but presumably stylish, engagement ring -- in dave-speak, something portable.

A friend of mine is going with us. For many years, she worked for a jewelry store. As a general rule, unless you are shopping for snowtires, it is always best to never send two men alone to buy anything!