Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Ouch, That Hurts

First, we have the girl who died from kissing the boy who ate peanuts. Not only has this sad event generated a few hundred really bad jokes online, it now is making me a little skeptical. The boy had eaten the peanuts several hours before, not right before the kiss. How much residual peanut could he have had in his mouth after all that time? My feeling is that there is more to this story yet to come out, so don't sell your Snickers stock just yet.

Second, comes word that doctors are switching to longer needles because our collective national rump has gotten so big that regular-size needles just ain't doin' the job. I've never been squeamish about getting an injection, but I do know people who next to pass out if you even mention a shot. After all the news reports, they should be pretty much in a coma by now.

Finally, we have word out of Fort Myers Beach, Florida, that police shot a naked man in his you-know-where with a Taser. The average Taser would have delivered about 50,000 volts to the guy's you-know-what. (A cattle prod -- which really, really hurts -- produces about 5,000 volts.) The man was taken to the hospital for treatment of his, you know, what's-left.

2 comments:

The Phoenix said...

Maybe the two kids were engaged in some pretty heavy, deep kissing. OK, that's gross.

If people's rears keep getting fat, they are going to have to make longer needles in order to get past all that fat tissue.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

Jim said...

Maybe the two kids were engaged in some pretty heavy, deep kissing. OK, that's gross. <== YOU'RE OUR SCIENTIST, DOESN'T THERE HAVE TO BE MORE TO THIS?????

If people's rears keep getting fat, they are going to have to make longer needles in order to get past all that fat tissue. <== THERE ARE SOME STORIES THAT JUST LEND THEMSELVES TO GREAT HEADLINES: Docs: Needles have fat chance against big butts

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire... <== AND, IT WAS NOT A SIMPLE STUN GUN -- A TASER SHOOTS THOSE TWO PRONGS THAT ENTER INTO THE SKIN AND UNDERLYING TISSUE, I WOULD HAVE PASSED OUT BEFORE THE CURRENT EVEN GOT TO ME!!!! -- BUT I DO THING WE HAVE OUR NEW MAIN EVENT FOR THE Mount Sterling Testical Festival