Friday, November 18, 2005

Thanksmisgivings

I have been cleaning all day, and will be cleaning all weekend. It was decided, against my strong objections, that the family would come to my house for Thanksgiving.

This is not a household set up for preparing meals. I don't have have the things that you need, like salt. I have two pans and a skillet. My oven has only been used to cook pizzas, and I don't do that anymore because you still have to clean up the mess it makes when it self-cleans itself.

I have mid-century modern furniture, it's mostly plastic. It's made to look at not sit on. My television is neither digital, not wide-screen, nor the size of a Buick, and you know people will whine about that. There are no TV's in the bedrooms, which appears to be a crime against nature.

One of them will ask me for an ashtray, and my head will explode.

6 comments:

Willow said...

So what time do we sit down to eat?

Jim said...

depends, if you want to go through the drive-thru at McDonald's with me it will be 4:45, if you want to sit and eat with the wandering hoard it will be 4:30 -- are you eating real food or near-food? -- I was told to buy turkey parts yesterday so I did (packages of legs, thighs, wings, breast), I have no idea why turkey parts are being cooked instead of a whole bird, maybe someone plans to reassemble them

Willow said...

I'm totally there for Mickey D's

And why is Dr. Frankenstein in charge of assembling a turkey?

Jim said...

as best that I understand, and note that I have really not paid too much attention, some relative gave considerable thought to what part of the turkey each member of the family preferred and then I was sent a list of parts to buy, if assembled, it would actually have five legs and three wings plus other odd and even numbers of parts (a turkey Picasso)

stan said...

Genetic engineers are probably working on breeding a five-legged, three-winged turkey. That comes pre-stuffed.

Jim said...

probably just the opposite, since white meat is much more popular than dark meat, somewhere someone is probably working on a turkey with four breasts (under a government grant, of course) -- I forgot about stuffing, I'll have to inquire what we are doing about that -- the couple next door are having 31 people for Thanksgiving, ARG! -- I don't think I know 31 people, and if I did I wouldn't want them all in my house at the same time (not that they would all fit!!!).