Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The REALLY shallow end...



A few posts ago, I was joking (sort of) about hiring attractive people to populate the swimming pool that I might have installed. That got me to thinking last night about what really attractive people I might have known over the years.

By far the single most attractive person that I have ever seen, in person or on a screen, is a guy that I knew in Texas -- he looked like an ancient Greek statue that had come alive.

I only knew him from parties and from occasionally water skiing -- he was always in the company of the most attract girl/woman that you can imagine -- someone who had usually just been named the Miss North Texas Rich Surburb Queen or the Miss Oil-Something Institue Queen. Everyone would always remark and agree, however, that no matter what lookers his dates might be, he was clearly out of the league of any of them.

I was talking to him one night at a party and, out of no where, he said "I'm going to be miserable the rest of my life."

As usual, I made the mistake of asking "Why?"

He went on to explain that he had always been a fat kid, in grade school, in high school, and during his first two years of college -- then someone introduced him to gymnastics, which he did for hours everyday thereafter. Somehow out of the fat popped this physically perfect guy.

And now for the good part. He continued to explain that since he was so attractive he would have to marry someone as attractive as himself and "you know how shallow and phony really attractive people are!"

That's right! He did not consider himself to be shallow because he had not become an attractive person until recently but felt that he was condemned to a life of hell on earth because he was going to have to marry someone who had been attract all of her life. He wasn't being a sexist, he way being -- well -- incredibly shallow.


[NOTE: This is the first post that where I have used Google Docs and Spreadsheets to post directly to the blog. (Remember, Google owns Blogger.) The picture is a little large but otherwise it seems to work great. The first line that you type in your document automatically becomes the TITLE when you click SAVE. I used INSERT to add the photo after that first line. The URL is docs.google.com.]

6 comments:

The Phoenix said...

It just shows you how deep rooted our perception of attractiveness is. A guy that had been "ugly" for years and is now suddenly the Alpha Male can become so incredibly shallow.

Judging by looks is instinctive, and I'm sure it served our early ancestors well. So many studies have been done showing that more attractive people get promotions, can always get help from strangers, and are put on pedastals by everyone.

So it's no wonder their egos get so inflated. We inflate it for them!
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for some reason, you are more attractive the more symmetrical your face is, plus I guess the rest of you -- for most of us, one side is a little larger/smaller than the other half

Metal Mark said...

I had a friend in colleg who was attractive and had no problem getting girls. He was a nice guy, but whenever looks or relationships were concerned he would get a little weird. He was very, very picky about looks and this approach was so foreign to me. I guess because I am average looking and all of my friends growing up were generally the same as me.
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I have know people who were not all that great looking but more than made up for it with personality, others who did it with $200 haircuts and custom-made clothes

Tim said...

Maybe he'll grow an irremovable large, ugly wart on his forehead.
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I found his picture last night online, he's gotten better looking, life is unfair

Meagan said...

I also can immediately think of "the single most attractive person I know." The annoying thing in this case is that she's not shallow a single bit! A bit of a ditz, sure, but seriously so nice, sweet, charming, funny, REAL, intense, smart and just way TOO DAMN MANY good things all in one package. Hahahaha.

Oh, and I recently have been checking out Google Docs and Spreadheets too...hadn't thought about blogging from there though!

love meagan
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maybe we could get them together and start a new race, or at least an unlimited supply of soap opera stars

Bruce said...

I've always said, if you can't take me as I am, then you don't belong in my life. Of course, my love life is pretty much in the crapper, so maybe I should re-think my stance...
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or just have another beer :)

David Amulet said...

In describing shallowness, he himself was shallow. Deep, very deep.

-- david
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one eventually graduates and can no longer do gymnastics all day -- if he was prone to weight gain to begin with, sitting at the desk will eventually catch up to him