The road to hell is paved

Above is a picture of our beautiful new downtown fountain. Isn't it lovely?

Above is a picture of the handicap ramp on the new sidewalk that was built when our beautiful new fountain was installed. So wonderful to be considerate of the handicap.

Above is the new sidewalk just beyond the new handicap ramp that was built when our beautiful new fountain was installed. As you can see, we also have beautiful new light posts and an equally new wastebasket.

You have to really ask yourself "Self, what was the point of the handicap ramp?" Crippled midgets perhaps, in tiny little wheelchairs?.

I was so bored...

...I took a picture of may hand.

It's not easy being Ethnic Tom

Tom is our friend from the Ilse of Man who's lip-sync of the disc hit "I will Survive" is a YouTube favorite and the subject of a previous post on this site.

Here Tom does not lip-sync, although reading his lips near the end of the video might be interesting.

Being cool is sometimes just plain painful.

Fade to black...

A previous post – on October 26 below – listed the most frequent Google Searches that produced visitors to It’s Jim. High on the list were searches for videos by some college guys, who had a new video camera to play with and clearly time on their hands. I thought the videos were very, very funny and did not one but two posts about them. I actually exchanged emails with one of the fellows to make sure the first post was okay, something I do whenever I mention someone and I can find their email address.

All of the videos that those guys produced in their college dorm – lip-syncing, choreographed, and shirtless – have been removed from both YouTube and Google Video. At YouTube, there is a note that the videos have been removed at the request of a third party who holds the copyright. Since the video camera belonged to the guy wearing the puka shells necklace, a star athlete in college, I assume he would be the copyright holder and the person who requested that the clips be removed

These were classic, silly, early YouTube videos – the kind of goofy stuff that made online videos so popular in the first place -- and they generated a lot of press coverage and online chatter. I can understand that the guys are now older, with careers, probably married, most likely with children. I can also understand that you might not want your kid to see daddy dancing shirtless online and lip-syncing an early-80’s hit by British pop singer Bonnie Tyler. So I have been very careful in this post not to include any term that might bring folks searching for those famous videos to this site, and I have removed or altered all previous posts to obliterate any mention of them

But, I do have this observation to make: once again we see the difference between being a good athlete and a good sport.

There just weren't no page left to turn.

I just finished a really long novel. A really long novel. I didn't read it, it was an audio book. After 17 CD's -- including a description of every donut in an assortment of donuts -- it just ended. There were no logical conclusions. None of the main plots or subplots were resolved. It just ended. My theory is the author finally ran out of printer paper and just stopped. Even Monty Python had the courtesy to yell "And now for something completely different!" when they had no ending for an otherwise terrific idea. This book had no third act. There was a first part, that introduced the characters and plot lines. There was a a second part were really interesting things happened. All of this created actual anticipation about how the author would tie if all together. Instead, zero, zilch, zip, zippo, zot! I actually longed for the famous Soap Opera episode in which all of the characters were loaded on a bus and driven over a cliff. Come the next Monday, the soap had all new characters. Will someone please call Greyhound for me, I need closure.
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Willow said...

You've given me a new outlook on life. Now, when twenty of my coworkers are fired, and replaced by twenty replacement workers the next day, I can think of the first group as disappearing due to a Soap Opera ending!

-----------Willow, from what I know of your coworkers, a 'bus trip' would definitely improve the gene pool

Our Monday Morning Waste of Brain Cells --

-- how about a test on what you remember from last week's news?

Test your nose for news

from Reuters News Service

(I got 8 out of 10, but I have no life.)

My grandmother wants her school taxes back, posthumously...

I was at my mother's yesterday.

A woman rang the doorbell.

"How do I get through to the yard sale?"

"We're not having a yard sale."

"Does your yard go through to the next street?"

"Yes."

"How do I get through to the yard sale?"

"We're not having a yard sale."

"Could you open the gate for me?"

"No."

I closed the door.

This guy went to a Widget Summit, and had a good time!

Frank's blog -- Somewhat Frank -- overflows with info about new web-based services. It's fun stuff for most of us, probably serious stuff for people who live on VC-funding (venture capitalists). Here are some of the current posts:

YowTrip -- a social network for travelers who are traveling alone to meet up with other travelers and locals in the same area at the same time. Except for the Jeffrey Dahmer aspect of it, this looks like a great idea

LinkDoozer -- allows you to access and manage your bookmarks and favorites remotely, and make you and them part of yet another social network. Also a good idea, especially for people with few actual friends and fewer chances of making any [sorry, editorial comment based on my being rejected in so many virtual spaces].

Propertize -- an online property management suite. As you get older and start inheriting houses this might be just what you need.

"SmartLinks offer site owners the ability to link to a widget that when clicked displays related items (i.e. books, music, people, etc)." Phoenix would like this, he could add links to books about spooks -- it also answers the question what they do at a widget summit.

Rememble -- "makes it easy to tell a story in a memory timeline and share it with your friends in a number of ways." Sounds good, but from the examples it just looks like you have to takes pictures of all your crap and add it to yet another social network. Stan, this puppy may be for you.

Xpenser -- makes remembering business expenses easier. [INSERT your own hooker joke about here.]

MyDaySpace.com -- enables users to create a web page dedicated to their own special day in history. Stan, there's probably a limit on how many day-pages you can create.

how my day went, and where I went <== a pun that will soon be obvious

I was going to spend today in the country in Missouri, so that's where I was.

About noon, the alarm company called and said that not only one but two doors had been opened at home (in Illinois).

So I went back home. If any doors had been opened, whoever did so clearly looked inside and said "what a mess" and left. There were no doors or windows unlocked and nothing missing. I reset the alarm and headed back to Missouri to retrieve Rooty who was still there visiting with his doggy friend Ozzie.

Back in Missouri, I exited at the Pacific exit to get gas and switch to Old US 66 since super-freeway I-44 was creeping along in the rain that had started to fall. After filling the car, I decided to unfill me. It was my first visit to a public restroom since Larry Craig had skipped the light fandango and turned cartwheels ‘cross the floor in the Minneapolis airport. I decided to bypass the urinals and opted for a stall. Standing there, I consciously made sure that my feet were not visible from the adjacent stalls, and that if I dropped something I would just leave it where it fell and buy a replacement whatever.

And so it was that later
as the miller told his tale
that her face, at first just ghostly,
turned a whiter shade of pale

The binds that tie us

These are the Google searches that lead the most visitors to this site, which I know is an awkward sentence but it's been a long, long day so suck it up and forget it, and their respective posts.

nickname creator<== by far #1

dorm videos that have been removed from YouTube*

Kosovo videos<==fun in a war zone

Steve Coombs<==actor, but he removed 'licensed driver' from vita

Fat Biker Chick<===how scary is that?

And, thanks to The Riverfront Times for the mention in the STLOG on the RFT website.

*The videos have been removed from YouTube and Google Videos because of a "copyright claim by a third party".
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:P fuzzbox said...

Fat Biker Chick is one of my favorite posts that you have done.

---------------fuz, it needed some of your artwork

This is new...

Rooty just crawled under his bed and went to sleep. I would take a picture but it would just be of his, you know, bed.

I want my school taxes back. Vol. 16. Part 4a.

One of today's visitors got here by Googling "how to read a car odometer."

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:P fuzzbox said...

Think they learned anything?

--------------fuz, yes, but probably from visiting other sites like howtoblowoutbirthdaycandles.com, howtouseatoothpick.com, and (my personal favorite) howtotellwhichisyourleftshoe.com.

Here's one to think about...

My car has an indicator light in the instrument cluster that shows when the wipers are on. As opposed, I suppose, you know, actually looking out the window and seeing if anything is going swish swish.
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stan said...

Is there one that tells you when the horn is honking, too?

-----------Stan, that might make some since for deaf drivers. The spooky thing is the wipers turning themselves on when rain hits the windshield. Spooky.

"Honey, check and see if we left them lights on."

Except as a security cameras for the people who live in that house, the value of this particular traffic cam escapes me!

This is near downtown St. Louis. I-44 is in the background.

If those folks leave their shades up you could see what they are watching on TV.

Source: Gateway Guide cams.

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moni said...

Maybe the DEA has a plan, lol. BTW, thanks for the comment Jim, :)

-------------Hi Moni!!! -- don't get the DEA after me, my "army cloning experiment" post prompted a look-see from Homeland Security (true).

The Phoenix said...

Hopefully, seeing what they're watching on TV is all we can see.

--------Hi Foen -- anyone who did not see this comment coming from Phoenix raise your hand! :)

:P fuzzbox said...

I wonder if they are exhibitionists. That would be one reason to live in the house.

--------------fuzz, the house was there before the freeway, the freeway was there before the traffic cam -- OFF TOPIC, saw TV show about tornado chasers in West Texas last night and thought of you.

Another Monday morning waste of time.

Click HERE or on the image.

Note: The game is on one of my sites but the ad is from the game site.

Just in case your attacker is near-sighted and very, very stupid

Crime-fighting camouflage clothing!

Link to a slideshow with more examples.

In a confusion of mass vs. velosity...

BERLIN (Reuters) - A thief caught shoplifting a packet of cheese from a supermarket in Germany tried to make his getaway in a cement mixer, but he was quickly nabbed by police.

The holely may not be the saved!

I had two 12-pak cases of root beer in a lower kitchen cabinet. Today I noticed a few black spots on the carpeting. I opened the cabinet -- MOLD, and lots of it.

Eight of the 24 cans had popped open. Not exploded, their tab-tops were just open a tad.

I had to wash the cabinet.

I had to wash the soda cans.

A box of crackers and a box of dog biscuits were lost to the MOLD.

The photos above are of the saved (on countertop) and the damned (in the sink).

It's just like that Duke of Windsor thing

He gave up his crown for the woman he loved.

Eric Affholter, 41, a lawyer and public defender in St. Louis put love ahead of the law.

He got a year of probation and a $2,000 fine. He had faced up to six months in prison. But, alas, his true love done got deported.

Affholter's crime? He arranged a sham marriage so that his gay Peruvian lover could remain in the United States.

Ain't love just swell!

Could there be more of a Monday morning waste of time!

Write your own love poem -- CLICK HERE.

Here's mine:

Once More, My Love

This night I shall dream of your bedazzling blue hair and lion-eyes.
Wrapped in echoes of your mellifluous arm-music,
I long to sip from your appleful lips.
In my dreams, we fly on the exquisite winged pea of greenness -- skimming vast continents of legs and dogs.
The depths of all the oceans of the universe shall never separate our peachs.
Brilliant as plateing houses, the seas greet us from afar.
In the twilight we feast on chocolate-coated cows and tender pianohearts of love
Adorned in white silk, we pluck our banging love chimes from our toes.
I press the pillow that you wear around your neck against my leg-muffin so that our apples melt into one.
You will always be my little Fat Head-cakes face, the lion of my own plateing eye of love.

My new car knows who I am!

When I approach it, it unlocks its doors.

To start it, I push a button, no key is required.

I find myself walking into other doors, expecting them also to recognize me and unlock themselves.

Yes, my new car has actually made me dumber.

I want my school taxes back. Vol. 16. Part 3.

Went to OfficeMax to buy envelopes, paper, and (oddly enough) a padlock.

At check-out lane, I'm watching the little credit-card screen while the clerk is scanning my items.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Me: "It's not reading the scans, nothing shows on the screen."

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Her: "The total will appear when I finish."

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Me: [Glancing over at the nothing.] "Nothing is showing up on the register."

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Her: [Annoyed.] It will when I finish."

Beep. Beep. Beep.

After the last beep, she looked at her register and realized that nothing she had scanned had been recorded by the register, much less totaled.

She pressed a few keys.

Her: "I'll have to scan everything again, there was something wrong with the computer."

And, Chevy Chase would turn to Jane Curtin and say "Jane, you ignorant sl*t."

Maybe a defense for Larry Craig (R-ID)

The Ig Nobel Prizes are organized by the magazine Annals of Improbable Research. The ceremony is co-sponsored by the Harvard-Radcliffe Society of Physics Students and the Harvard-Radcliffe Science Fiction Association. The Ig Nobel Prizes honor achievements that first make people laugh, and then make them think. The prizes are intended to celebrate the unusual, honor the imaginative -- and spur people's interest in science, medicine, and technology.

Some for the 2007 Winners:

PEACE: The Air Force Wright Laboratory, Dayton, Ohio, USA, for instigating research & development on a chemical weapon -- the so-called "gay bomb" -- that will make enemy soldiers become sexually irresistible to each other. [In case you missed the news stories, this is not made up.]

MEDICINE: Brian Witcombe of Gloucester, UK, and Dan Meyer of Antioch, Tennessee, USA, for their penetrating medical report "Sword Swallowing and Its Side Effects."

PHYSICS: L. Mahadevan of Harvard University, USA, and Enrique Cerda Villablanca of Universidad de Santiago de Chile, for studying how sheets become wrinkled.

LINGUISTICS: Juan Manuel Toro, Josep B. Trobalon and Núria Sebastián-Gallés, of Universitat de Barcelona, for showing that rats sometimes cannot tell the difference between a person speaking Japanese backwards and a person speaking Dutch backwards.

LITERATURE: Glenda Browne of Blaxland, Blue Mountains, Australia, for her study of the word "the" -- and of the many ways it causes problems for anyone who tries to put things into alphabetical order.

and my personal favorite:

AVIATION: Patricia V. Agostino, Santiago A. Plano and Diego A. Golombek of Universidad Nacional de Quilmes, Argentina, for their discovery that Viagra aids jetlag recovery in hamsters. [ REFERENCE: "Sildenafil Accelerates Reentrainment of Circadian Rhythms After Advancing Light Schedules," Patricia V. Agostino, Santiago A. Plano and Diego A. Golombek, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 104, no. 23, June 5 2007, pp. 9834-9.]

Here a really good idea...

Tired of that annoying razor stubble in your bathroom sink, leave it lodged in your computer's keyboard instead.
USB Powered Rechargeable Shaver, $19.95

odd

the old itsjim blog, that I once had, then some Lesbian had (not that there's anything wrong with that) is now in another language.

http://itsjim.blogspot.com/