and another reason I cannot marry you

you're a fish

Goodbye Helena

Did you see where Montana has threatened to secede from the United States if the Supreme Court rules that the District of Columbia can ban handguns in homes?

Federal courts have always held that the Second Amendment applies to the states and not to individuals, thereby upholding the legality of state National Guard units ("state militias").

There an old rule in business that if an employee says "If you don't give me this I'm going to leave" the correct response is always "Goodbye and good luck" unless you are willing to let that person own you.

There is also a federal law against secession, passed after the Civil War, which was fought about that very issue.

I'm pretty indifferent about Montana, however, if we can keep all of Yellowstone, I say let them go. How many sheep do we really need? We'd have to loop I-94 through Wyoming and Idaho but they are nice places to visit anyway!

I'm not sure if Montana wants to become a country or be part of Canada. I don't know anything about Canadian guns laws and I really don't much care.

So to all the Montanans and sheep, good luck to you, just be careful you don't shoot yourself in the foot. For every IRS tax dollar collected in Montana, $2.17 comes back to the state. Missouri gets back $1.22. Illinois gets back $0.68!

[Please do not post political comments, they will be removed -- there are plenty of sites where you can express your political opinions.]

"Don't say goodbye, say hello"

Heading west on I-270 in Illinois, the first exit after you cross the Mississippi is Riverview Drive. There are also large green highway signs that Missouri Welcome Center for the same exit.

Heading east on I-270 in Missouri, the last exit before you cross the Mississippi is Riverview Drive. There are also large green highway signs that Missouri Welcome Center for the same exit.

Shouldn't it be a Goodbye Center? Am I being too picking? There, I stabbed myself as punishment. Now are you happy? This sure got ugly fast!

" I say high, you say low.
You say why and I say I don't know, oh no.
You say goodbye and I say hello
(Hello Goodbye Hello Goodbye) hello hello
(Hello Goodbye) I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello
(Hello Goodbye Hello Goodbye) hello hello
(Hello Goodbye) I don't know why you say goodbye
(Hello Goodbye) I say goodbye." <-- Nope, they weren't on drugs

Cable Wars, Part 1 of 3

[Note: I changed the post dates to get these in the correct order.]

I've had cable since the dinosaurs roamed Southern Illinois. The line from the pole across the street to my house hangs low so a few times trucks have pulled it down. The cable company (rhymes with 'barter') always had it back up quickly.

About six weeks ago, the line was knocked down again so I called the 800-number. The service rep said they would not send anyone out to put the cable back up since I did not have account. I explained about the dinosaurs, she was not impressed. I explained that they direct-debited my bank account each month for the bill, she was not impressed.

She turned me over to a supervisor who merely repeated what the service rep had told me -- no account no repairman.

So, I immediately canceled any future debit payments and went outside and pulled the downed cable out of the street.

The neighbors on all three sides of me have switched to satellite TV (pretty easy to figure why!) so I called one of the satellite TV companies and made arrangements for installation.

Some of you may remember when the telephone company declared me dead a few years ago, including sending a nice letter to my 'estate.'

Part 2 tomorrow.

Cable Wars Part 2 of 3

So...
I arranged for installation of a satellite TV system -- lets call it InDirecTV

-- the installer shows with only two of the needed receivers;
-- the installer leaves to go find two more receivers;
--the installer leaves because his 'find the right satellite gizmo' is not working;
-- the installer returned with a different 'find the right satellite gizmo;'
--it is now evening and the installer leaves to go play basketball, yes, that's correct, I'm not making that up, he left to go play basketball, he was wearing his basketball shorts when he came back, about 7:30;
--I've leaving some things out or this would be too long, the installer finally finished about 10:30PM;

--after about two hours of total use, and no recordings, the DVR receiver failed -- company sent a new one -- new one is much smaller than old one so the old one will not fit into the box that it 'has to be sent back in;'

-- replacement receiver will not work, system will not accept the included 'Receiver ID' -- on hold, on hold, on hold, on hold;

-- when I finally talked to someone I asked how much it would cost me to throw all of the receivers and dish into the lake, I was serious;
their receivers back, no problem, they would send boxes (oddly, they did not want the dish back, it's still on the roof);

-- four receivers, they sent two boxes. I called, on hold, on hold, transfer to return specialist, told him the whole story and he said 'they sent you the wrong 'Receiver ID' <-- DAH!

-- so, he would send the other two boxes, then I put two of the receivers in the two boxes that they sent;

-- only one of the return boxes contained a UPS shipping label, the other contained two sealing tape strips but no label;

-- on hold, on hold, "I was just talking to xxxxxxx, but I need another shipping label;

-- I had the service maybe three weeks, it took two weeks for them to get all of the proper boxes and labels to me.

Tomorrow, part 3, there is another satellite TV company...

Cable Wars Part 3 of 3

So, then I called, lets say, Plate Network.

The guy came but he had the wrong receivers.

So he left.

Then he came back.

Then he says "You have phone jacks by each TV, don't you?"

I say "No."

"You have to have one for each receiver."

"There are no phone jacks near any of the TV's, plus the only land line is used by the burglar alarm system. No one said anything about phone jacks!"

"The sales person should have told you, you answered a flyer didn't you?"

"No, I called the 800-number on the Plate Network webpage, the official page. The lady said nothing about phone lines."

So, he calls his office and I talk to the manager. We go through exactly the same conversation. Finally, I say "That's it! I don't want it." I tipped the installer for his trouble and he left.

So, after having had three different TV systems in about four weeks period, I surrendered to the forces of the universe and called the cable company. They were glad to have me back, especially after I told them the whole satellite TV story, basketball game and all, and they gave me lots of free things.

So, once again I have cable TV, at least until the next truck knocks down the line and I once more cease to exist.

It's pouring sleet

It's like being in a big bowl of Rice Krispies and someone has just added mild.

I was recently told that there's not a lot about me on the blog...

...but lots about Rooty.

So, here are all the facts:

I don't bruise, at least not easily, I've had a total of two in my whole life, and I've fallen off cliffs.

I'm not ticklish, at all, but I have a pulse so I'm not dead.

My normal temperature is 97, at 98.6 I have a fever and don't feel good.

From the U.S. Weather Service

Wednesday Night: A 30 percent chance of snow after midnight. Increasing clouds, with a low around 15. East wind between 9 and 11 mph.

Wouldn't 'after midnight' mean it's Thursday not Wednesday?

Odd fact day

John Lennon was the best man at Peter Boyle's wedding.

Steam is invisible. What you think is steam is water vapor.

When a quake occurs on the moon, the moon rings like a hollow bell.

How I got busted at the courthouse!

I seem to be the only person on the planet who did not know that cell phones with cameras are prohibited inside a courthouse. There are no signs. I put it in the tray and all hell broke loose when I emerged from the other side of the metal detector.

Exactly what are they afraid you'll take pictures of?

All criminal trials are held in courtrooms at the 'Justice Center' blocks away.

A lawyer came to my rescue, it seems they can have cell phone with cameras inside the courthouse.

Can you even buy a cell phone without a camera?

seemed timely to post this again

Only regular visitors will have a clue what this is about

The trial about the gazebo was yesterday morning (Thursday), it took 2 1/2 hours, no witnesses were called. We should know the Court's ruling late next week (1/22/08) and if we will need to appeal. "We" means me and my three lawyers ("Don't do, over do!").

I will have more to say about this entire experience, which started January 2007, after we receive the Judge's opinion.

I have blocked Comments since I had to submit my previous posts about this via the interrogatories. Jim

spoiled dog at grandma's house

Some people are just always going to be in the wrong lane

No matter how many big green signs they put up.

"Ireland debates switch to right-hand driving"

Story from Reuters News Service

Not in the story: Before Sweden switched from left-hand to right-hand driving in 1967, the government asked citizens to send in suggestions for making the changed easier. One of the suggestions received was that they make the change "gradually" -- "let the truck switch first."

And, no, I'm not making that up!

I finally added coments to the january and february comments

I is still behind but catching up some

We have a 'chance for thundershowers' today

Dah. Do you think so?

My birthday is this week

but don't leave 'happy birthday' messages -- even since I was a little kid I've hated my birthday, lousy presents, fake cheeriness, that awful song!

but there is cake so I always show up.

Pepperoni pizza = weird dreams

or I've actually acquired the ability to fly!

What part of migrate south did they just not understand?

(They're geese, AKA Flying Pigs)

It snowed

bunches