Silly fun

This is from a terrific trivia site!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

Hello Dolly (sorry)

Hurricanes that landfall south of Houston usually produce heavy rains in Missouri and Southern Illinois. Thus, Dolly has finally arrived.

Once on land and downgraded to a tropical storm, however, Dolly decided not to follow the neat path like Rita on the oil industry map above. She headed west, way west, maybe to see Moni, then she (Dolly, not Moni) made a hairpin turn and headed back east. So Dolly finally got here!

There is nothing like tropical rain. It looks different (grey skies), it smells different, and it never stops. Sometimes, a tropical storm that came ashore in Southern California will make it all the way to Missouri/Illinois. That rain smells like San Diego.

[Yes, I also was always taught that "sky" is never plural (skies) because there is only one sky. Dictionaries, however, include an entry for "skies." Best bet: use "sky" when it clear, meaning everyone in a given area has exactly the same sky. Use "skies" when the sky might be different from place to place within a given area.]

Speaking of clocks...

China has only one time zone.

Prior to 1995, the International Date Line split the country of Kiribati. The result was that the eastern part of Kiribati was a whole day and two hours behind the western part of the country where its capital is located.

In 1995 Kiribati decided to move the International Date Line far to the east- which placed the entire country into the same day.

The state of Arizona does not observe Daylight Saving Time. The Navajo Reservation within Arizona does change to Daylight time. But, the Hopi Reservation within the Navajo Reservation does not observe Daylight Saving Time.

More fun with 4!

You were probably taught to write four in Roman numerals as IV.

The Romans would have written it as IIII.

The use of IV did not take hold until the Middle Ages.

Clocks use IIII instead of IV because clock faces were based on sun dials, which gets us back to the Romans

If you multiply the number 21978 by 4, it turns backwards!

I guess "Clocktower Hidden Behind Tree Plaza" won't fit on the sign!

You can cook your wienies right on your counter! Who Knew.

This might be the scary part: A physics professor at Rice University is warning of a radioactive threat found in some kitchen countertops.

No, this might be the scary part: The professor found that some granite countertops contain levels of uranium that might expose homeowners to 100 millirems of radiation in just a few months — the annual exposure limit set by the Department of Energy for visitors to nuclear labs.

The I feel much better part: "Junk Science" says a spokesman for the Marble Institute of America, a trade group that represents the granite industry

Oh no, it just got scary again: The industry spokesman cited a University of Akron study that found granite varieties used in 85 percent of countertops were safe. [Emphasis added.]

Read more at the Houston Chronicle.

Quick the phylodendrum is trying to escape!

I didn't stage this. I had opened the back sliding-glass door and when I turned around part of the plant was out of the door.

Could it be Saturday night bar-bet time already?

Only number whose English spelling contains the same number of letters as the number itself?


[An unhelpful hint --> Forty is the only number whose letters are in alphabetical order. One is the only number whose letters are in reverse alphabetical order.]

Here's sorta Johnny Carson![updated]

The political part of Jay Leno's monologue is still not up to Carson-standards, but it's the best of the talk shows.

Jay Leno: "I don't want to...say McCain is running a lackluster campaign, but his Secret Service codename is 'Bob Dole.'"

This is a formula joke. It can be written in several ways, for example.

John McCain is so dull he makes Bob Dole seem interesting.

UPDATE

It was suggested that I needed to add an Obama joke:

Jimmy Kimmel: "It was...surprising" and "kind of exciting. They really love Barack Obama in Germany. He's like a rock star over there," which is "impressive until you realize that David Hasselhoff is also like a rock star over there."


If you like politics, and political humor, you might want to subscribe to US News & World Report's email Political Bulletin. At the each of the daily emails are the best political jokes from the latenight talk shows. The main part is a summary of how the media has covered a politcal happening.

No pain at the pump (Sorry)

At the Shady Lady Ranch brothel in Beatty, Nevada, clients who spend $300 or more this month will receive $50 gas vouchers as part of a promotion to beat the summer slump in business.

From Reuters News Service