Thursday, August 09, 2007

Your help is greatly anticipated.

Like many states, Missouri and Illinois have placed large reader boards above their urban Interstate highways. I past five today. The first said "Test Test Test." The second said "Right lane closed at Soccer Field Road." This appeared to be important news since the Soccer Field Road exit is just west of the complex I-44, I-270, and MO 366 (old US 66) interchange. Traffic exiting I-270 and 366 actually uses that lane to head west on 44. I immediately began planning alternative routes depending upon how far traffic was backed up. I did not need to bother, when I got there the lane was not closed and there was no evidence that if ever had been. The next three big reader boards were blank. Ain't technology great?
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The Phoenix said...

Technology is only as good as the people charged with using it. My favorite is the one on 270, just before the Chain of Rocks or Canal Bridge that reads "Congestion Ahead."

Gee, ya think??

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Road signs are put up for people who already know where they are going. Jim

Headline: "Death row inmate dies of cancer but lawyer wants to continue appeal"

From today's St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Kind'a says it all, doesn't it!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Dog days of August

Carson: "It was really hot in So. Calif. today."

Audience: "HOW HOT WAS IT?"

Carson: "It was so hot, musicians were snorting ice cubes."
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stan said...

Just for clarification, you meant Johnny Carson, not Carson Daly, right?

Stan, Johnny Carson was a comedian, Carson Daly is a tool. -- Jim

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Tim said...

That one actually made the ribs hurt. :D

Tim, ribs sound good for dinner, thanks for the idea. --Jim


Saturday, August 04, 2007

Dear Santa, this is what I want


The larger sticker above is available from the Left Lane Drivers of America ("It’s time to get that Left Lane back! "). You attach it to your windshield -- the photo below shows what the driver in front of you would see. If you travel I-270, don't bother. As we all know, 270 drivers (1) never look in their rear view mirrors, (2) even if they did, it would be a big assumption to think they can read, and (3) even assuming they can read you know the sign would just make them more obstinate and determined to annoy as many people as possible.
NOTE -- Is it just me or is the arrow pointing in the wrong direction?
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:P fuzzbox said...

There is a special corner of hell reserved for people that drive too slow in the fast lane. I would think that if a sensible punishment plan for such a criminal offense then it could be stopped. Perhaps flogging would be sufficient.

Fuzz, flogging would be good,or perhaps having to watch Porky's III for all eternity.

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Amy in StL said...

If I saw that in my rearview mirror, I would totally stay in the left hand lane. Possibly slowing down to pace the car next to me. Because I think obnoxious signage deserves obnoxious behavior!

Amy, I had the same reaction to those annoying "Baby on Board" signs -- every time I saw one I wanted to go impregnate someone. --Jim
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The Phoenix said...

Move over into oncoming traffic???

Maybe the decal's designer is dyslexic.

Foen --Do you image that people all over the country are reading those signs and obediently are driving into the guardrails. -- Jim






Friday, August 03, 2007

Hence the phrase...

...The dog-days of summer!
Rooty asleep in the front seat, stopped at a stop sign.
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Metal Mark said...

Glad Rooty is doing well.

MM, he hates the heat but otherwise he's doing great! -- Jim

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Carnealian said...

I think you should do an entire series of photos of Rooty asleep here and there. He is too stinkin funny!

Carn, he even funnier awake, I'll post some videos soon. --Jim





Five Years at Hard Labor and Doing the Rumba

It a novel approach to running prison in the Philippines. There are bunches of these music videos from the prison on youtube. Click the picture to see the video.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

"Fortune Cookies"

What male prostitutes on the West Coast call Japanese sailors.

[I know, but I heard it on TV and it made me laugh.]
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Pixie said...

Haaa Haaa I will have to remember that one!

Pix,

Pix, the only other one that I remember is BRAIN BUCKET. a general slang term for a motorcycle helmet. -- Jim


Monday, July 30, 2007

T U.S. researchers create schizophrenic mice

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Scientists have genetically engineered mice that develop the physical and psychological characteristics of schizophrenia, U.S. researchers said on Monday.

In other words, mice who like to ride mass transit.
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:P fuzzbox said...

Disney Mice that can hear voices in their head would be really confused. They wouldn't know if they were Mickey or Goofy.

Fuzz, I hear voices in my head, but mostly it's Hugh Downs, go figure. -- Jim

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David Amulet said...

What's next? Maybe mice wwith A.D.D.

David, excuse me, I wasn't listening. -- Jim



Saturday, July 28, 2007

Comments on comments

Moni liked the music of the guy who proves in eight thousand equations how many people in a room will have the same birthday. She also corrected the http for her blog.

Only Metal Mark commiserated with my manual overload -- so only he gets invited to the new pool (as soon as I read the manual on how to open the automatic cover).

The Beckhams in bed brought comments from Metal Mark (they are unavoidable), Moni (who did a review of the motel room), phoenix (who is waiting for Jesus to play soccer, or something like that), and David Amulet (who mentions Felicity Huffman who was on Sports Night the greatest TV show ever so David's a great guy).

Willow's back and suggests if you want to set fire to your boyfriend to start with his socks. David Amulet thinks the torched boyfriend will take the firebug back, that has been true in every abusive relation I've known of.

Stan thinks the Hawaiians license plates came from eBay -- trust me, no one here is that computer literate! Moni says the car might have been shipped back by someone stationed in Hawaii in the military. Possible, but it wasn't a special car of any kind.

Moni wasn't as unset about the transfer of power using a FAX as I was. The President pro tempore of the Senate is also notified.

Phoenix is correct in pointing out that that little guy roaming through the rain forests is not alone, he'd have a producer, a sound guy, and one or two camera guys. The Dirty Jobs guy shows his crew every now and then. Moni thinks the whole thing is just dumb, but she's still mad that they made New Mexico a state.

Phoenix wants me to try Purell Hand Sanitizer as toothpaste. Not sure why. Maybe it's something the aliens taught him

The flat tire on my lawnmower: Yes Phoenix, this is the second time. Amy says one more reason not to cut the grass. Amy, later I'll tell you about the ground hornets. Stan says he's had a flat on a wheelbarrow -- I've found that the tire on mine just goes flat slower over time. The lawn mower tire goes flat in about an hour.

And, that was the week that was. Jim
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Metal Mark said...
Here is a comment on the comment about comments. Ohh, my head is starting to hurt.
6:56 PM

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Oh, so you had a bad day? Boohoo!

I had a flat tire on my lawnmower.