Attach Part Y to Part K, and then stand on your head!

Help!

I'm being crushed by the sheer weight of the User Manuals that I need to read!

So, of course, I'm not reading any of them.

I mentioned before that I have a new computer that has Vista. I use the features that are unchanged from XP and simply ignore the rest.

The computer came with Office 2007. It seems to do the same things that the older versions did but with mind-numbing new menus. They changed simple things like "Copy" and "Paste" for no discernible reason. I refuse to have to resort to Help to learn how to write a simple paragraph using Word.

I also had a security system installed in my house. I had burglars three times when I lived in Austin and it is not a pleasant experience, but I did learn not to keep anything of value in the house. I just thought I would feel more comfortable being away if there was a security system. It came with a users manual and a DVD, neither of which I've looked at. I've learned to turn it on, and off, and what to tell the security company when I accidentally set it off. It does all kinds of fancy things but I'm certain I'll never know how to use them individually. I just leave the whole damn thing on all the time.

And then there's the new underground sprinkler system. It came with two manuals and two DVDs. There are 12 separate zone, each of which can have three separate start/stop programs. I just turn it to "Test System" when I want to water the lawn and to "Stop" when I want it to, you know, stop.