Why pay that silly license fee!

Pickup #1 has a John Deere logo as a license plate.

Pickup #2 has a Confederate flag as a license plate.

Please send night-vision goggles...

The street light outside is burned out. In 11:25 PM. The power company will only accept a report about a burned out street light if you have the "pole number" from the top of the pole, just under the light, which is burned out.

Give that some thought.

Sunrise is not until about 6:30 AM.

Why exactly do they have a 24-hour toll-free number?

My aunt died this morning at 2:30 AM. I was with her at the hospital.

Until about three months ago, she had not taken a pill of any kind or seen a doctor for over 35 years. She lived alone, in her own home, and took care of herself. Friday evening we were backing out of her driveway to go get ice cream, she said she felt sick. I got her back in the house and called 911. They gave her oxygen and she seemed fine. When I went over this morning she was not feeling good so I called 911 again. This time they took her to the emergency room, where we were until about 6, then I drove her home (the ambulance followed us -- it's a small town thing). About 9, after speaking with the emergency room doctor on the phone, I called 911 and we went back to the emergency room. She had a seizure about 11:30 PM, at about 1:00 AM they moved us up to a private room on the top floor. She died in her sleep, I was holding her hand.

She was 93.

My brother-in-law died this morning at 10:30 AM. He was 55.

If you smoke, you're an idiot.

A relative, much younger, is very near death. He has been given 24 to 48 hours, so my guess is that means sooner rather than later. I'm leaving as soon as the house sitter arrives and take Rooty to my mother's and then drive from there. Oddly, my first instinct was to rent a black car, which I did, almost immediately, not sure why, so I guess I'll take it.

Our marketing award winner of the week!

Madam Kerry, Sydney, Australian, has announced she is giving the customers to her brothel 20 Australian cents per litre towards their next gas purchase. [I think this is about 59 cents per gallon.)

Kerry said that the rising cost of gasoline is hurting the sex industry and "... we wanted to find a way to give something back to our clients."

All of the jokes that I can think of start with "Tired of getting screwed at the pumps..."

[Prostitution is not illegal in Australia, but usually restricted near schools, churches, and hospitals. I can understand about schools and churches, but what earthly difference would being next to a hospital make?]

One of them Tuesday's that's really a Monday.

Click on the image or HERE to load the game.

After the game loads, click once on the picture to make the penguin jump.

Then click a second time to make the guy take a swing at the penguin.

Pretend the penguin is your boss.

Pretend you are the guy with the bat.

Isn't it great to be back!

That's the best you could come up with?

The lead singer of the British rocker band Kasabian has lashed out at Justin Timberlake, calling Justin "a midget with whiskers."

It's Justin Timberlake, and that's all he could come up with.

First of all, he's 6 foot or something, hardly a midget!

Second, have they just never actually seen Justin Timberlake? It probably took him two month to grow those whiskers!

Now, This is an insult:

Can I borrow your face for a few days while my ass is on vacation?

This is such a great idea!

Each wiener comes with it's own bun!

Although I still do not know the difference between a hot dog and a frank.

Things to throw out before Labor Day

Since MTV doesn't play music videos anymore, why do they still have a music video awards show?

Gas is below $2.50, it's supposed to fall below $2.00 before the November elections. I guess the big oil companies want to make sure they don't lose control of the House and Senate.

The Pope is holding a conference to evaluate evolution. I suppose they could dig up Galileo and place him under house arrest again.

The missile defense test today was successful, it had been postponed one day because of fog.

The Emmy's is essentially a TV show about other TV shows, it is followed by TV shows about the Emmy show (i.e., TV shows about the TV show about TV shows) and TV shows about what people wore to the Emmy show (TV shows about the clothing at the TV show about other TV shows).