Saturday, April 30, 2005

APRIL 2005

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The posts below are from the original it's jim blog in April, 2005.
The original comments were not included in the backup files.
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Friday, April 29, 2005

It Never Says It's Sorry

My car locks itself whenever I get near it. That's right, now I'm also being rejected by machinery!

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Let Us Pay

I think I'm going to start my own church, the First United Church of Jim. As a member, when you break up with someone, you just have Jim's Church issue a writ of excommunication and declare your ex a heretic. I know you would still be alone, but the paperwork would keep your mind occupied and I could use the donations.

Turn Left on George

Streets never seem to be named after men using only their first names but it is common for women. Near where I live, are Irma Avenue, Hilda Street, and Colleen Drive. You never see Bob Boulevard, Bubba Parkway, or South Sam Street. When you do see what could be a man's first name on a street, you can usually assume it is actually someone's last name. James Street and Thomas Street are good examples. Even Richards Street probably does not mean 'Richard's Street' -- it is just some guy whose last name is Richards. I do know where there is a Little John Lane, but that raises whole other issues.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Road Rage

Why do highway departments put up signs that say 'Bump Ahead' -- why don't they just fix the bump?

Monday, April 25, 2005

Maybe They Sleep in School

Why is the Disney Channel on all night? For 11-year old insomniacs?

An Unbusy Number

Phone no go 'ring, ring' anymore. I cut through the phone cable in the family room wall with a jigsaw. Hey, you never called anyway.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

He Probably Also Votes

Followed a pickup into town today that had turn signals on both side mirrors. What a great idea! They were especially useful when the guy made a left turn from the far-right lane, across three lanes of traffic. Alas, technology can only do so much.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Fore!

I put a booster fan in the clothes dryer vent. Now I can pretty much turn dryer lint into space junk.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

A Moss-Covered Stone

I was sitting in the driveway after lunch, on a folding lawn chair, picking my teeth with a pine tree needle that I picked up off of the concrete – maybe I've been in Illinois too long!